Wahhh I'm Gifted!

Yesss people, I am gifted!

With the ability of jalan ke depan, tapi mata pandang tempat lain. Heh

I almost langgar macam-macam benda. But luckily tak pernah lah langgar tiang retak seribu. Mostly I langgar orang. Lepastu akan bermula lah adegan,

    "Owh!!! I'm sorry!!! Saya tak sengaja. Sorry sorry!!!

(Dengan senyuman konon apologetic) 

I was thinking, if next time I langgar orang, then I terus nyanyi Sorry Sorry Sorry by Super Junior, OK tak? Siap dancing lagi. 

I'm pretty sure orang tu tak kan marah. In fact die akan terpaku. Hahahaha

Reality

My supervisor once said, life is never fair. It is unfair. Really. Sometimes, you couldn't understand why they are people who are just so lucky with their lives.

They seemed so happy, so complete. Note the ' they seemed'. Maybe they are not really happy inside but they stopped others to see the sad side of themselves. 

I am known to be a happy-go-lucky girl. I talked a lot, I smiled a lot. But to be honest, I cried a lot too. Almost everyday. I have to say that inside, I am not that happy.

I always believe that being me, I should make others happy. It doesn't matter whether I am happy or not. Because, truly, I am very happy when I could cheer up others.

I am nothing special. I have failed, twice. But I managed to stand up again and keep on going. I guess I am quite strong then. To be able to stand, until now.

Now, I am so sad because I think I could not go on anymore. I have become too lazy, too saturated and too stupid.

Sometimes I just feel like quitting. Just go back home, and stay there. Where no one could hurt me. Or make me sad. 

I know because no matter what happened I have my families to return too. I wish I could just go home and tell my mum that I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna study. Or work. 

I just wanna be your daughter. I just wanna be at home. Playing. I just wanna be your little girl once again.

I don't wanna proceed, I just want all to stop. I am too scared to face another failure. I am too weak to hear people say something that could hurt my feeling. 

I am tired of crying everyday. I just wanna laugh. And play.

I DO NOT WANT ANY RESPONSIBILITY.

I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE HURT MY FEELING WITH THEIR WORDS. 

I HATE IT BECAUSE I AM SO SENSITIVE I WOULD EASILY CRY.

Saya Laparrr Lah Kamu...

It's almost 1 a.m. and I'm hungry. Adoi, tadi makan dah bace bismillah... Siap makan senyum-senyum lagi. Tapi why lapar lagi ni?

Haiiisshhh, high metabolism rate? HAHA I doubt that!

Tu lah, next time, jangan cakap that your hobby is 'menternak lemak'. Dah tak tertahan dah proses penternakan lemak ni. Asyik-asyik lapar.

So should I masak or just sleep?

Owh God... Hmmmm.

Ape Punyerrrr ...

Supposedly kan, this week I balik Ipoh caused I already promise my youngest sister. Tapi things happened and I could not go home. 

I have tonnes of reports, a mountain of journals and a pile of works to be done. So again, I had to disappointed her :(

When I was driving, I dok terfikir apelah alasan nak bagi. Serious rase bersalah. Tapiiiiii...

So I fikir, takpelah, 

    "I belikan baby pizza."

Sure die suke. Ratu makan kot minah tu. Bak kate abang die, kucing siam mak. HAHA

   "Ehhh, tak pun bank in duit. Rasuah."

Ishhhh, hina sungguh nak bagi duit jerr...

   "Hmm, belikan hand phone pun OK kot ehh? Ala yang RM 99.00 kan ade."

Serious, pun hina. As a friend said to me, ape ingat boleh ke beli love? Tu lah, last-last I realized, my sister tak mau pun all that. She just wants me to be home, as I promised. But I let her down. Again.

Owh what a bad sister. Baby I'm sorry. 

**air mate bergenang, ade something in my throat, a lump. I'm about to cry :'( **

Ape Kesss?

I tengah bengannnggg nganng ngaaanngg!!! 

What is it with people nowadaysCome on, zaman dah maju. We have FB, phone, sms, bbm, email, blog, twitter etc... So when people invited you to a wedding, thru all those FB blah blah, why would you requested for a card pulak? 

Those 'routes' of invitation above are designed to make things easier and cheaper of course! Why do people wanna make things hard balik by demanding nak card semua bagai?

Orang dah tagged kat FB, and even called! Bukannya tak ikhlas nak invite by tagging and calling or texting ke... It's just that certain people are BUSY, SUPER BUSY to post all the cards. What with the price nak buy stamps, then nak pergi pot office, paste the stamps, seal the envelopes.

Tolonglah, satu card, satu stamp. Satu stamp 60sen. Times dengan 100 is equal to RM 60. 

I have to admit, I have not send out my invitation yet. Tapi terbaca event my friend ni, punyelah ramai yang nak card ape semua bagai. Come on lah people, when it is my turn nanti, I won't print a lot of cards. 

I'm a student and yes, I wanna get married while I'm studying. So I have to plan my wedding on a strict budget. If tunggu I habis belajar, lagi 3-4 tahun la jawabnya.

Kadang-kadang I pelik dengan our society. Demand benda bukan-bukan. Nak bilik pengantin, pelamin, bunga telur, goodie bag and if semua yang listed tu takde, mulalah mengata.

Oi bersanding haram!!!

Oi ape takde kerja ke masuk bilik pengantin. Tu bukan private ke?

Oi bunga telur tu, telur tuh guwa tengok dibuang jugak.

Oi guwa tengok paper bag tuh dibuang gak. Bersepah kat rumah pengantin.

Urrggghhh!!!

Better I provide good foods from the caterer, good foods in the goodie bag daripada I bagi mahal punye goodie bag tapi the contents? Mak ai mengarut! Handkerchief? Pakai sekali dah rosak.

A good friend of mine once said,

    "Kedai pengantin nih semua, merosakkan orang Melayu!"

Well friend, I have to agree on that. 

Apelah orang Melayu nih, nak sangat agungkan adat. Nak sangat Melayu tu, Melayu ni. Tolonglah, yang penting is agama OK.

Islam dulu, kini dan selamanya. Itu baru betul. So if dah Islam larang bersanding, why must you force me to bersanding?

Tafsir Al Quran

It is good for us, umat Islam, untuk baca Quran selalu. But, it is better if we read and understand the meaning lies in every sentence of the Quran. 

A good friend of mine gave me this link where you could read the Quran together with the meaning, may it be in BM or English. 

Plussssssss, ade audio version OK. So instead of dengar lagu-lagu je memanjang, bolehla dengar Quran plak. Sejuk hati I. Hmmmmmmm (ni baru betul dalam hati ade taman, aman damai).

May ALLAH bless us all. Here it is, Tafsir Al Quran Bahasa Melayu. 

Inspiration/Booster/Catalyst???

So what inspires you to write/blog? I bet with this advance tech of blogging and all, a lot of us realize that somehow they are quite good in writing. Kan?

I have to say this blogging helps me to test my English (in writing). Apart from writing proposals or research related stuffs, I don't do so much writing like when I was in school. 

Having said that, I realized how much I love to write an essay (be it in English or BM). But I rarely do so nowadays. Owh sad :(

And I have to admit, I am also lack of reading materials (put away those journals, please!). Few years back, I used to read Readers Digest every month since my dad subscribed it. But when he stopped doing so (since no one read it except me), I don't do much reading lah :P

Then tadi I saw a friend of mine, a great scientist in the making, reading Readers Digest. So i terfikir, I think it's about time I should start reading them back. I am in serious need of reading. Tapi if suruh I baca journals, hah berjanggut beruban lah baru habis.

When we read a lot, we know a lot. So macam-macam issue we could address or talk about with friends or sape-sape je lah. I don't give a damn about politics sebab I rase I tak sebulu with politics. Susah nak paham this field.

Kesimpulannya, when I read, I'm escaping this world and entering a new world where I could forget all my worries, my problems. And when I'm reading, I could focus. Just focus on the book. I love that the most. Having the ability to escape from certain terrible situations.

Like today, I just realized that my fellowship is finishing this June. And I'm not even done with my labworks yet.Owh great!

How am I supposed to look for sponsor nihhh?